Never trust your pit bull to babysit your child

Every so often, there's a story in the news that catches your eye. Never mind the war casualties and all that repetitive nonsense.

But when you see an article about a pit pull sodomizing a two-year-old, you're going to read it. I know I did!
In July, a New York family's pit bull full-on raped their two-year-old boy. Now I know dogs like humping legs, cushions, etc...but never once have I ever had a dog try to stick his schlong in my brown eye. Even after considering the fact that I'm too tall for anything of the sort to even happen, I got to thinking, why and how the hell did this happen to that boy?

Well, the toddler was at home when it happened, and it was the family dog who did the raping. Now, in order for this dog to be able to sodomize the kid, the kid would have to be presumably naked, no? He probably didn't want it THAT BAD that he went ahead and penetrated through the diaper.
And surely, no parent in their right mind would even allow something like this to happen, so I'm going to assume the two-year-old was naked and unsupervised.

"Eggert said the boy’s family members and neighbors had to beat the dog to get it off the boy." This sentence is worded VERY wrong, but in an oh-so-right way, and I'm deeming it the best sentence in the article. Anyway, unless this kid's neighbors were in the house with his shitty, neglectful parents, I'm also going to assume the kid was outside, naked and alone, crawling around near a pit bull, which are known to be not-so-friendly anyway.

Now, the article completely makes it seem like, "Whoops! This is the first case of baby-raping by a DOG that's ever came up! WEIIIRDDDDD!" Yeah!!! You wanna know why!!?? Because other parents watch their fucking toddlers when they're crawling around outside naked and around animals/people!!!
It's pretty bad when the neighbors see YOUR dog raping YOUR baby before you. There's a reason why this is the first incident of the sort reported. Because on a list of responsible parents and irresponsible parents, these ones rank dead last.

But, hey. The dog was also two years old. However, in human years, the dog is 14, making the dog a homosexual, interspecies-curious pedophile. What are they doing letting their dog have sex at such a young age? And outside of it's species and age-group? Come on. (Not literally, though!)

I am placing two accounts of blame on the parents. One, for allowing the dog to sodomize their baby with his weiner, and two, for letting their underage dog go gay with their kid at the tender age of 14.

A dog professional says that the pit bulls are aggressive by nature, but not all of them are like that. He went on to say, "The problem is not with the breed itself...but rather the manner in which the dog is raised. A pit bull raised in a loving atmosphere 'could be a fine dog,' he said."
What the hell kind of people own this dog? I can only come to one conclusion on this case, if I may play CSI for one minute.

The kid was coming onto the dog and pissing it off, possibly trying to rape it himself.


After a history of being dolled up and made to look like a pussy, the pit bull sought revenge on the shitty parents and their shithead child.


After not being able to take it anymore, the pit bull did this. Case closed.