Friday, March 20, 2009

Rise Up and Revolt Against Chicago's Parking Meters!



It's the top story on the Chicago Tribune's Web site.
It really pissed me off last Saturday night when not even a week before, parking meters off State Street and Cermak were free after 6 p.m. Saturday I go to park and there's a new sticker there by a company appropriately named "LAZ." They hiked up the price to $0.25 every 15 minutes and made it free after 9 p.m. instead of 6 p.m. My friend and I were pissed.

Well, after reading through the 99 comments the Trib currently has on that story alone, I got to thinking a slew of destructive thoughts from these people's ideas. Someone said bash them in with metal baseball bats, someone said we should rip them from the ground and leave them in front of city hall...
But do you know how hard that would be? Not to mention how indiscreet??

I used to be a thief and a vandal when I was younger - not so much anymore. But if you really want to stick it to LAZ, I have conjured up an idea:

Step 1: Simply buy a can of black spray paint.

Step 2: Paint over the entire head of the meter, making everything completely unreadable.

If you do this, you can't just do it to one meter, you have to do it to all of them down a street, preferably in a ski mask when nobody's looking. Also - park your car far away because cameras could be watching. Better yet, walk to and away from the scene.

If the head of the meter is spray painted, nobody will put quarters in. After seeing that they're all like that, people will catch on and - still needing a place to put their car - will park in one of the spots. The police officers can't issue tickets because the meters are faulty.

Not only will this stick it to LAZ, but also to that prick, Daley, for selling out another piece of Chicago. If enough people do this, LAZ will lose money, the meters will stay in the ground so taxes don't go up to buy new ones if they're ripped out and LAZ will get the point. Just remember - don't get caught and if questioned, deny, deny, deny.

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